Our Fall Schedule

Our schedule is fuller than it has ever been this year.  I constantly struggle with knowing how many activities to let me kids become involved in.  I want each of them to be able to develop their talents and try different things.  There are so many great things available for them these days.  But how much is too much?  Each child has their own limits.  Some would have activities nonstop after school if I let them.  Others get overwhelmed with more than one thing.  What is the right amount?

Usually I have limited the kids to piano lessons and one other activity.  Last year Kate chose soccer, which she loved.  After the season ended she wanted to take ballet.  Most all the classes were full at that point, so we had to take a Saturday morning class, which was not ideal.  So this year I signed her up during regular fall signups, and figured we would just double up during soccer season.  Same with Ben.  He loves football, but has wanted to try the cello for the past several years.  There isn't an orchestra program in the schools here, so in order for him to play, he has to join the community youth orchestra.  Sign-ups are in the fall and joining late didn't seem like a good idea for a beginner.  So he goes to orchestra twice a week in his football gear and then we rush him straight to football, which he gets to about 10 minutes late.  It will only overlap for about 7 weeks.  But in the meantime, it is crazy.  He is only home for an hour after school before we have to leave.  One hour for a snack, some time to unwind, and start a little homework--which he has had an insane amount of so far this year (he has a minimum 5-hour per week homework requirement, which he has more than fulfilled).   

So, our fall schedule looks something like this:

Mondays
Rachel - violin
Ben, Rachel and Sarah - piano teams every other week
Family Home Evening

Tuesdays
Ben - orchestra, football (and he should be going to scouts, but is missing that until football is over)
Kate - soccer academy (this finally ended this week), activity days starting in November after she turns 8
Sarah - piano, YW volleyball, and YW
Rachel - YW volleyball, YW
Me - cub scouts (I'm the Bear Leader)

Wednesdays
Ben - piano, football
Kate - dance
Rachel - piano
Sarah - just got invited to be in an art class she's been hoping to get into forever (do I let her do it?)

Thursdays
Ben - orchestra, football
Rachel - orchestra
Sarah - flute
Kate - soccer

Fridays - open (Thank goodness!) although the last few Fridays have had birthday parties, pep games, and play dates. 

Saturdays include a soccer game for Kate, a football game for Ben and YW volleyball games for Sarah and Rachel.  We also try to fit in yard work and house cleaning jobs. 

This last week I used up an entire tank of gas in three days driving kids everywhere.  I am constantly gone.  Keep in mind that our day starts at 5:00 a.m most days for seminary (we don't have seminary on Wednesday mornings here).  The days are scheduled down to the minute.  After I get kids off to school, I only have 4 1/2 hours before they start coming home again.  During that time I must shower (I try to exercise earlier), finish working, do laundry, do any cooking that needs to be done, run errands, volunteer at the elementary school, go grocery shopping, and try to spend some quality time with William.  Then the driving begins.  And goes until the evening.  For the last three weeks we have also had back to school nights at three different schools (one each week) as well as a Relief Society activity, stake temple nights, stake conference etc.  One week I was gone every single night to something. 

It is taking its toll.  On me.  I'm the one that is overbusy. 

I am tired. 

And sometimes grumpy. 

I keep telling myself that things will be better after soccer and football end.  And they will.  But have we crossed the line?  If so, what should we give up?  I have a hard time telling Ben he can't ever play the cello because I don't feel like driving him to orchestra.  And Kate has already given up gymnastics (although she is taking an acro dance class this year which is a combination of tumbling and dance).  Ben isn't going to play basketball this year.  Obviously, there has to be a limit.  We all can't do everything, especially not at the same time.  But childhood is the ideal time to learn things.  We just don't have time to dedicate to learning a new instrument as we get older.  Things like work and child rearing take up our time.  It seems like now is the time for my kids to focus on all of these extra - and wonderful - activities. 

But what is the cost?  I'm not talking the monetary cost (although that is hefty enough)  But what is the opportunity cost?  What do we sacrifice instead?  What are they giving up?  What are we giving up as a family?

It is hard to say.  On one hand, some of the kids are very happy to be busy and would tell you they prefer things this way--on a schedule where we go, go, go.  I think there is less fighting and lots of good lessons on time management and prioritizing what is important.  And definitely less screen time.  Plus, the kids are learning great things from all of these activities.  I also have lots of good one-on-one time as I take turns driving children from place to place.  On the other hand, we don't always have dinner with everyone every single night--usually there is a majority of people there at one time and we sit down and eat with whoever is home, but that definitely isn't ideal.  We have less family time.  There is less free time for the kids to just play.  There is only so much Mom to go around.  When I am gone driving I am not home to help kids with homework (although sometimes they help each other which is a bonus).  I'm not there to take care of things, and usually that means things don't get done.  I'm not there to break up arguments and kiss owies.  It takes the "stay at home" out of the job title of "stay at home mother." 

So what is the answer?  I don't know.  I don't know that there is a right answer--certainly not a right answer that would fit every family all the time.  There probably isn't one single answer that would fit our family for all of the years we have children at home.  I guess for now I want to remember that we've chosen all of these activities deliberately, and that they are all good.  I am happy with our choices and I know the kids are too.

Busy is good, at least for now.