(photo courtesy of Mark and Andrea)My dad passed away last Friday, August 28, 2009. It's been an emotional last few weeks, and I wasn't ready to blog about it right away. Somehow, typing the words, describing what has happened, has been too difficult.
In June, my dad went to the ER with chest pain, thinking he was having a heart attack. He wasn't, but the ER found some problems with his lungs and referred him to a pulmonologist. After some initial tests, the doctors recommended he have a lung biopsy to determine the specific problem. He hadn't been feeling well--shortness of breath, weight loss, and fatigue. Dad went into the hospital on August 17 for a lung biopsy. He was supposed to be there a couple of days. Initially he started to get better, but then there was one complication after another, and by the end of that week he had developed pneumonia and had to be put on life support. Six days later he passed away from complications of pulmonary fibrosis. It turns out the flap that covers the trachea had stopped closing effectively, so when Dad ate, food particles were getting down into his lungs and causing scar tissue. The pneumonia that he developed was a result of bacteria in his mouth getting into his lungs, something that was bound to happen even if he wasn't in the hospital.
I had the chance to go see him on August 23 and 24. It was good to be there with my mom so she didn't have to go through this alone. At that point we didn't know for sure what was going to happen. There was the chance that he would pull through and recover. But things were getting tricky for me. I was having contractions and David didn't want me to be three hours away from home and go into labor. So we headed back home. My sister and brother from Utah were able to drive up and be with my mom Thursday and Friday and were there when my Dad passed away. Our little William was born 12 hours later, early Saturday morning. I like to think they "high-fived" in passing, or as my brother said, Dad loved his grandkids so much that he just wanted to be the first one to hold him.
The funeral was this past Thursday. I gave the eulogy. This was a hard thing, but also a good thing. Although I had tons of help from both my brothers in writing it, I spent quite a bit of time working on it and preparing it. This was a good way for me to grieve--reflecting on my Dad's life, all the good that he did, and the wonderful man that he was. He truly touched many lives and left a legacy behind for all of us to build on. I will miss him, but I know that he's free from pain and happy and I can be with him again.
Here's a couple pictures of my dad with the kids we took over Christmas. Love you, Dad!
9 comments:
Oh Elaine. I had no idea. I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what it would be like grieving a death and celebrating a new life all at once. Thank-you for sharing your wonderful memories. We'll keep you and your family in our prayers during this time of transition. God bless.
wow Elaine. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am sure your emotions have been all over the place with such a loss and then the birth of your little William. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I love what your brother said about your Dad holding your little baby...I am sitting here in tears thinking of you and want you to know that I love you. What sweet pictures of your dad w/ your kids.
Elaine, I am so sorry to hear of you loss. Your dad was such a great guy and so accepting. I remember coming over to your house I think for Christmas Eve a few years ago. He was so loving and so thoughtful! I am keeping you in my prayers at this time. We love you!
Elaine, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine what it will be like to lose a parent. Hope you are soon able to find peace and comfort amidst the hardship. While it's very hard, isn't is so wonderful to have the knowledge that we do of the after life and knowing that we can be with loved ones again? You're in our thoughts and prayers. We love you!
-Greg & Britney Ballash
I am sorry to hear about your loss. I like the thought that your dad wanted to be the first one to hold his grandson. I am glad that you could be out there with your dad and spend time with him before he passed.
Elaine, I am so sorry! What a mixture of emotions right now. I felt so similarly when my Grandma died--not wanting to talk about it for awhile, and talking at her funeral was such an outlet for grieving. And I know what it's like to lose a dad...be patient with the time it takes for the gaping hole in your life to mend. Thinking of you tons...
I'm sorry for all you've been through, being this pregnant and dealing with the loss of your father all at the same time is unimaginable. I remember talking with him and knew he was a great person just like you. It's sweet to think of him meeting William even if briefly. And I'm so glad you are able to live closer to your family through this. Miss you & you'll be in my prayers!
So sad for you. :(
We love you Elaine.
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